The Hole
by eha-themaster-ehen
Summary: When an odd hole appears near Hogwarts Harry, Ron, and Hermione find themselves in a strange town called Forks. Along the way they might some suprising werewolves, vampires, wanderers, and two kids from a different universe.


**A/N: Hi! This story was co-written, but both authors share one account here on fanfiction! So obviously this story is a bit of a joke. The whole idea is a joke, but if people like it maybe we will get more readers and write some more so please comment! It's very important you do! Also, take into the consideration it was twelve in the morning when this was written. So enjoy the insaneness.**

**Harry Potter Meets the Cullen's who meet Lyra and Will who meet Ian and Wanda**

**By ehathemasterwiff**

Harry, Ron, and Hermione jumped through the large hole and found themselves in a small, forested, rainy town called Forks.

All of the sudden a beautiful, glittering vampire jumped out of the bushes and said, "Are you Harry Potter?"

Harry slapped him and cried, "Bitch!"

Ron began to drool. Hermione looked furious as she looked up at the boy with golden eyes and said, "What the fuck do you think your doing with my hubby! We already have two kids!"

"Oh, sorry!" Said Edward, the vampire, "I have that effect sometimes. What are your children's names? My daughter is Renesmee."

At that Harry, Ron, and Hermione began to laugh hysterically. Ron was laughing so hard he nearly chocked. Hermione thumped him on the back and looked back up at Edward.

"Well fine! What are your children's names?" Edward growled, clearly his feelings had been hurt.

But before Hermione could answer an extremely hot, shirtless man jumped out of the woods. He had blond hair and the same golden eyes as Edward.

She completely forgot about Ron and threw herself into the blond man's arms and cried, "Marry me!"

The man looked down at her and smiled. "No. Sorry. I have a wife who can see VISIONS."

Hermione, grief-stricken, avada-kedavrared herself, but missed.

"No!" Cried Ron. "Don't do that! We have each other forget about those vampires!" And with that Ron and Hermione disappeared in the forest, but Harry thought he saw a knicker fly into the air.

A second later a pack of wolves, all transformed, spotted Harry and imprinted on him, but Remus Lupin appeared behind them.

The werewolves looked at him and shouted, "Why have Harry when we can have Lupin!" They all swarmed around Lupin and imprinted on him instead.

At this point Edward's cell phone began to ring. He picked it up only to hear Bella's voice screaming.

"Edward! I'm going into labor again! Let's name it Charslile!" She shouted.

Horror struck, Edward said, "We have to get home! Harry I'm going to need your help! Ron and Hermione too!"

Edward sprinted toward home grabbing Harry and then Ron and Hermione who were half clothed by this point.

They raced to Jacob's house where Bella was trying to see him. She was in labor and she was screaming a lot. A LOT.

(Insert gory details here) Bella's baby turned out to be half vampire and half werewolf.

Edward sobbed, "How could you do this to me Bella!" And he ran off with Tanya.

It was incredibly awkward and this reminded Ron of a time in his past, but Hermione hit him snapping him back into reality.

"Well that was...er...fun. See you later Edward!" Harry called and the three preceded back to the hole, leaving Lupin with his new "friends."

When they walked away they could see Lupin being fought over.

"Should we call the police?" Harry asked.

"Nah. He can deal." Ron replied

"Ahaha! That tickles." Lupin giggled over all the barking. And suddenly Luna, Ginny, and Hugo came out of the hole and Alice and Rosalie jumped out of the bushes.

"WHERE ARE THE CRUMPLED HORN SACKS!" Luna screamed.

"There!" Hugo cried, pointing at Alice and Rosalie

Luna jumped at them, checking their backpacks.

"Wow. You do have a lot of class." Said Ginny, looking down at her nephew.

(In a sexy British accent), "Well yes I do, but not as much as you." He said, winking at his aunt.

Ginny smiled. It was true, after all she was married to the boy who lived, who jumped out of the woods and cried, "I'M SORRY! I'M LEAVING YOU FOR JASPER!"

"What!" Alice gasped and Ginny yelled back in agreement with Alice.

Harry explained, "Jasper and I realized we were soul mates so we're running off to Isle Esme, Ginvera!" He giggled.

Alice and Ginny just stared, but Ron and Hermione appeared out of the forest and Ron announced, loudly, "HERMIONE AND I BROKE THE HEADBOARD!"

"NO! THAT WAS MADE FOR ME AND JASPER!" Alice shouted.

"No wonder it was so lame!" Ron laughed wickedly, "We've broken better headboards!"

"Ugh! That's disgusting." Hugo moaned after a moment.

A short girl girl with brown hair then shouted, "HUGO I LOVE YOU! LET'S BREAK HEADBOARS!" And she dragged him off into the forest.

"Who the bloody hell was that?" Ron asked.

"Number one fan girl I guess!" Laughed Lyra Silvertonuge.

The frizzy blond girl then shouted, " I AM A WANDERER AND I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER YOUR PLANET BECAUSE I AM A BADASS SOUL!"

A boy followed her out of the hole. He had a handsome face and dark, piercing eyes. "That's right bitches!"

Wanda and Ian then climbed out of their own hole. Aliens began to take over the earth and the only place not affected was the small, rainy town of Forks, Washington.

"Well this is fucked up!" Hugo said. He had a pair of knickers in his hand.

The fan girl appeared behind him (fully dressed mind you), but then a Tiff Da Masta Wiff crashed to the ground from the sky.

She cried, "BOW BEFORE ME YOU FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!"

They all bowed and Seth Cleerwater came out of the bushes while everyone was bowing.

"OMIGOD! I LOVE YOU!" Tiff Da Masta Wiff shouted and for once he agreed to marry her and the two bounced off happily as Hugo and the fangirl were passionately snogging.

"Wow...she's got the moves!" Said Ron watching his son and the estrange girl.

Harry and Jasper were in hysterics tickling each other as Ginny and Alice watched sadly. Luna was searching them wildly when Rosalie screeched, "THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT!"

Aliens began to rain down from the sky.

"Fuck this!" Rosalie muttered and then kissed Will. (As aliens rained down on them)

Ginny and Alice glanced at each other, realized they were made for each other, and started making out as Lyra watched Will and Rosalie in horror.

"Ow! Get off me! I love Lyra!" Will moaned as Ian and Wanda laughed hysterically (as aliens rained down)

"I'm over you!" Lyra sobbed and grabbed Ian so she could make out with him.

No one noticed because they were so busy making out, but Voldemort and a hundred Volturi came down from the sky (along with the aliens)

Mr. and then popped out of the hole (they dislike Ron) "More bloody magic!" Mr. Granger shouted.

Voldemort then shouted, " MUGGLES! OF WITH THEIR HEADS!" And the Volturi attacked them.

Mr. Granger ripped off his shirt (macho), became buff, and began to rip of the heads of the Volturi

**TO BE CONTINUED.......**


End file.
